My dear friends,

The ninth precept under the sixth point in Geshe Chekawa's Mind Training in Seven Points is:

This raises the more general question of how a follower of the Bodhisattva path is to respond to harsh or hurtful speech, which is itself one of the ten most unskillful actions (akusala-kamma). According to Shantideva, to respond with anger would be illogical:

Geshe Chekawa's advice to be indifferent towards malicious jokes and Shantideva's reasoning that harsh words do not physically harm us highlight the importance of not reacting with anger. Instead, be grateful for this as an opportunity to exercise the virtue (paramita) of patience and to dwell in the "divine abode" (brahmavihara) of immeasurable equanimity.

Geshe Langri Tangpa, in Verse 5 of his Eight Verses for Training the Mind, advises a radical way of taking advantage of this opportunity:

This radical acceptance helps cultivate humility and compassion towards those who may be acting out of jealousy or other negative emotions.

Both Jesus and the Apostle Paul prescribe the transformation of our response from one of retaliation to one of blessing and positive regard. This aligns with the Bodhisattva’s aim to alleviate the suffering of all beings, including those who cause harm:

All these teachings imply that encountering harsh speech is an opportunity for spiritual growth. By not reacting with anger, practicing patience, accepting defeat, and blessing those who harm us, we develop qualities such as compassion, humility, and resilience.

The best response to harsh or hurtful speech, then, should be guided by patience and equanimity, seeing it as an opportunity for cultivating virtue, and responding with compassion and blessings rather than anger or retaliation. This approach not only prevents harm but also contributes to our own spiritual growth, and potentially transforms the negativity of others.