Developing love and compassion through the four-step meditation on equalizing self and others is a profound practice in Mahayana Buddhism. This meditation helps to diminish the ego-centric view and cultivate a more inclusive perspective, recognizing the fundamental similarity between oneself and others in terms of the desire for happiness and the wish to avoid suffering. Here's an overview of the four steps:
1. Recognizing Equality of Self and Others- Objective: Acknowledge that all beings, including oneself, equally desire happiness and wish to avoid suffering.
- Practice: Contemplate deeply how, just like yourself, others too seek happiness and try to avoid pain. This realization helps break down the barriers between self and others, fostering a sense of shared experience.
Are similar in that we wish to be happy,
What is so special about me?
Why do I strive for my happiness alone?
And when both myself and others
Are similar in that we do not wish to suffer,
What is so special about me?
Why do I protect myself and not others?
- Shantideva, Bodhisattvacharyavatara, VIII(95,96)
2. Contemplating the Disadvantages of Self-Centeredness
- Objective: Understand the harmful effects of being overly self-centered.
- Practice: Reflect on how focusing excessively on oneself leads to various mental afflictions like greed, jealousy, and anger, causing suffering for both oneself and others. Recognize that many problems in life stem from a self-centered attitude.
The childish work for their own benefit,
The Buddhas work for the benefit of others.
Just look at the difference between them!
- Shantideva, Bodhisattvacharyavatara, VIII(130)
3. Contemplating the Advantages of Cherishing Others
- Objective: Realize the benefits of valuing others as much as oneself.
- Practice: Think about how caring for others brings peace, happiness, and harmony. Contemplate examples where altruistic actions led to positive outcomes. Understand that by cherishing others, one contributes to a more compassionate and loving environment.
For the sufferings of others,
I shall not attain the state of Buddhahood
And even in cyclic existence shall have no joy.
- Shantideva, Bodhisattvacharyavatara, VIII(131)
- Objective: Develop the aspiration to take on the suffering of others and give them happiness in return.
- Practice: Engage in a mental exercise of 'giving and taking' (Tonglen). Imagine taking in the suffering of others with each in-breath, transforming it within yourself, and then sending out happiness and relief to them with each out-breath. This helps to cultivate deep compassion and love.
- Daily Application: Try to put these reflections into action in daily life. Treat others' needs and happiness as important as your own. Offer help and show kindness in practical ways.
- Continued Practice: Consistently applying these steps in meditation and daily interactions gradually transforms one’s attitude, fostering a more compassionate, empathetic, and loving heart.
This meditation method effectively diminishes the habitual self-centeredness and cultivates a profound sense of connectedness with others. Over time, it strengthens the qualities of love, compassion, and altruism, essential for personal growth and spiritual development in Buddhist practice.